Everyone Desperately Want To Tell About Stress But Can Not Until Asked

I have read so many posts regarding the unpleasant ideas about having to expose stress facts for your t, although I am hoping this is simply not completely mad. I'm working with almost the alternative.

I have many 'issues' that I am aware of from an emotionally/verbally abusive step father to an adult that I trusted as a maternal figure that later revealed she'd other suggestions I want to talk about my trauma for the relationship in high-school... and then what's daily becoming more of the guarantee that I've repressed very early abuse (I have always had terrors but am not reading his and my speech in my own mind and it isnot nice exchange of words)... I have NEVER told information on ANY of this stuff. I've described to two people that "something" occurred with this person that was the level and I trusted. I am plagued by images, short video in my mind of the people I recall now these sounds of what I think.

I have discovered that I can not tell him ANYTHING if he doesn't ask directly and am working together with at. I have told him this and he's good at trying to ask me questions. The problem is, I can also not tell him things to ask. I understand it could sound completely crazy, but it is much like I am banned to only readily tell things-but I'm allowed to answer honestly. He's gone backandforth about 'processing' stress then I think I'm so quiet about things happening he doesn't think they starts to believe we must get another direction and are. I get angry once I hear him talk about not addressing the trauma especially and obtain extremely depressed and need to give up hope about actually getting relief. I cannot tell him that although it's like I AM AWARE I have to get these details out. I believe he is also worried I cannot manage dealing with the stress directly due to my panic disorder, but I donot understand how to transform some of this. He discusses looking to do it with as small detail and stress as possible and that I have read about every one of these new techniques to take care of PTSD without detailed processing, but I would like it so bad.

Does this sound right to ANYONE? I understand I'd be EXTREMELY embaressed to say the items I would have to and I hope it'snot something sick making me want to... But I am worried we will spend years because he thinks I am worried tiptoeing round the facts and that I am seriously wanting to spill the beans. I hope I could tell him this, but it is not allowed.